Miyerkules, Setyembre 14, 2011

Dealing With Your Enemies

Enemies, enemies, enemies. From all the e-mail I get asking me about how to deal with them, how to deceive them, how to destroy them, and how to ruin their homemade tomato sauce, I got to figure there are thousands of little Napoleons out there causing a lot of damage I didn't know about, because I can't get how so many people have so many enemies.

I've mentioned that the key to dealing with enemies is to destroy them, leaving no room for retaliation. This is best said by Machiavelli: "For it must be noted, that men must either be caressed or else annihilated; they will revenge themselves for small injuries, but cannot do so for great ones; the injury therefore that we do to a man must be such that we need not fear his revenge."

That said, I'm a practical kind of guy, and I know that not everyone is in the type of situation where annihilating enemies is possible, as it might be in my Famiglia .

So, sometimes you can't send your enemies packing to hell's gates, you can't make a deposit in the East River, and you can't offer someone the gift of cement shoes. Sometimes, you have to deal with cafones that make your life miserable, because circumstances (and maybe the law too) don't let you ice your headaches.

For those circumstances, let me give you a quick rundown on how to deal with opponents when destroying them is not an option:

1- Make time to plan your revenge

If, for whatever reason, you have to wait because the consequences of immediate action against your enemy outweigh the benefits, use that time to perfect your plan to destroy him or seek revenge. Make your plans bolder, colder, crueler, and use the time to make your enemy feel a false sense of security before the dump truck falls on his head. Don't sulk and complain. Think of it as an opportunity to fine-tune your master plan.

2- Don't publicize your beefs

Nothing brings your enemies out of the woodwork faster than a public act of disrespect. Deal with your enemy smartly by revealing your beefs only to your closest circle of associates. You never know whose ears your enemy has. You don't want more eyes on the street watching out for you. So keep your mouth shut, and don't go making empty threats.


3- Don't let them get to you
Always remain cool. Don't let yourself get distracted from everything else you have going on in your life. Don't let your business go down the toilet. Don't neglect the wife or the mistress. Don't run around scared like a little girl. Don't let your enemy get under your skin. Pick your battles wisely. But don't let yourself be disrespected either. Sure, you can't go blowing your temper at every little provocation, but there is a line for everyone. As long as the line is not crossed (even if it's stepped on), stay cool.

4- Keep them close
When you can't annihilate your enemies, join them. Sort of. Let them think you are joining them. Befriend them. Get closer. There is no easier way to keep tabs on your fiercest opponent than to be right next to him. I'd rather see the barrel of a gun in front of me than wonder if it's behind me all the time. Same applies to your enemies.

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